What I Really Want In The Bedroom

What I Really Want In The Bedroom

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Because you know I have too much to do to actually initiate a nap on my own.

Dearest Lover,

I sleep sooooo much better with the proper ambience.

You want to fulfill my fantasies, right? Satisfy my deepest desires? I thought so. That's why I'm going to cut right to the chase and let you know exactly what I want between the sheets: no guessing games, no playing coy, just straight to the stuff that will make me melt. Do these things and I'll be putty in your hands, every time -- I promise.

Who can rest comfortably with one on? I mean really?

First, I want you to tell me to drop everything I'm doing. Then take me to the bedroom and order me to get on the bed.

Nobody sleeps well in jeans, either.

Close the curtains, dim the lights, maybe put on some soft music.

Because a foot massage would be an epic way to kick off this nap.

Then I'm going to take off my bra...

Like mop the dirty floor, wash the dirty laundry, scrub the dirty toilet, bathe the dirty children...

... and my pants.

I mean the pillow. The fat one. Don't just toss it to me -- fluff it first.

I want to feel your hands on my body. Lower... lower...

Thank goodness we splurged on the extra-cushy comforter.

I want you to whisper in my ear about all the dirty things you're going to do while I'm lying here.

Seriously, don't let the kids see me trying to nap. They'd never allow it.

Then I want you to give it to me. Nice and slow.

No, I mean it, I ache. Did you see the size of that last load of laundry I carried up the stairs? Sheesh.

Oh, yeah... things are really heating up in here.

So let me know the next time you want to participate in this... adults-only activity.

I want it so badly that I ache.

I'm ready, willing, and waiting. Take me to heaven. I'll be forever grateful...

via "Mom Candy: 1,000 Quotes of Inspiration for Mothers"

... when I wake up.

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