Do:

Everyone has been to a wedding where there were either too many toasts given, too much detail given in the toasts, or both. You sit there, drink in hand, wondering when the toast or speech is going to end or you simply try to tune out details that you really didn't want to know about the couple. Often times, it is difficult for a couple to decide whom they want to speak at their reception. This results in a long list of people frequently, because the couple doesn't want to "offend" anyone. If you are going to a wedding and are giving a toast, I have a few do's and don'ts for you to follow. Feel free to print this out and give it to the couple.

Do make the toast sentimental. Talk about how you know the couple, or, if you only knew one of them, talk about the time when you met their fiancé. Mention why you feel that they are perfect for each other.

Leave out the embarrassing stories. Caught the couple making out on the beach? There's no reason to share that. Consider your audience and how there might be family members in attendance (hi, mom!) that won't appreciate these types of comments.

Do:

Write it down and read. Memorizing a toast is a beautiful idea in theory. However, between the busy day, the alcohol and any nerves that you might have, it's best to just have your toast in front of you. You may never need to glance at your words, but knowing they are there will be a great comfort.

Don't:

Long toasts are a hot mess. Your toast should not exceed the front and back of an index card. I'm not talking about typing in font 4 so that you can keep going on and on, but rather in font size 12 or simply handwriting the entire thing. While you may love to hear what you have to say, and the couple might as well, there are going to be people there that just aren't interested.

Do:

Include pictures if you are able to! You can make your toast stand out by giving fun visual aids to your "audience". We have seen toasts accompanying by life size cut outs of the couple, and even pictures where the person being "roasted" was superimposed into anything from a baseball game to a scene from a movie. Of course, if you just have some fun photos you want to share, that's a good idea too!

Don't:

Don't turn this into anything other than a toast. This is not your chance to serenade the couple with a surprise song. Performances like this are a fabulous idea, but they should be saved for later on in the reception after people have had a chance to eat. There is plenty of time for fun stuff like this later on, so work with the wedding planner to make sure it is in the timeline.

Talk about what the couple has in common or how their differences enhance their relationship. Maybe one person is a camping nut and the other prefers a 5-star hotel. Or, maybe they both love to camp and had an interesting experience outrunning a bear. People love to hear these types of stories, so if there's one to be told (bonus points if you were there), then make sure to tell it.

Stay away from the basics including religion and politics. If one person is a conservative Christian, while the other is a liberal Atheist, now is not the time to point that out. Please don't joke about the challenges they face ahead, and especially don't mention how difficult raising their children might be. Can you say, "awkward"?

Do:

Know your atmosphere and your crowd. A toast given at a small wedding full of close knit family and friends might be very different than one given at a 500 person shindig. The higher the guest count, the more likely it is that there are parents, friends of parents, and friends of those friends in the room. Not hearing the laughter you expected? Keep the pace moving and stay upbeat.

Don't:

If the guests aren't responding to you the way you expected them to (I mean, hello, why is no one laughing when I'm so hysterical?), don't heckle them. Now is not the time to point out anyone's lack of sense of humor. Frankly, if you do, you might get . called out on how boring your toast is. Don't invite this kind of drama into the wedding. Be the bigger person and realize that maybe your toast wasn't as exceptional as you thought it was.

Practice your toast in front of the mirror and in front of people that you know will be honest with you. This means taking it to someone other than your mom or best friend because they will probably tell you that it's fantastic. You want to know the truth before you deliver a toast at a wedding and not make your friends regret ever asking you to speak.

Expect to write this toast the night before or in the car on the way to the wedding? Bad idea. This should be done in advance and have at least a first and second draft. A toast is an honor and should be treated with respect. Also, if you haven't been asked to speak, don't a. ask to speak or b. (even worse) get up and speak. Trust me, this has been well thought out.

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There you have it! A few do's and don'ts when you are asking to give a toast at a wedding. Try and remember the times when you listened to toast (after toast) at another wedding and how boring it can get. Keep it short and sweet and everyone will love you that much more.