I'm officially "of the age of marriage" -- meaning my Facebook feed has far less 2am bar photos and increasingly more "I SAID YES!" updates.

Old friends -- my little sister's friends, even -- are Instagramming engagement rings and testing out wedding hashtags. They're planning not only a future, but a celebration -- with excitement and gusto! -- consumed with dress choices and bachelorette planning and wedding budgets.

And I'm over here like, "Do you know what you're getting yourself into?"

I don't want to be "that person," jaded and hurt and bitter, throwing back another glass of champagne before making a sarcastic toast to love... as if love will carry them through.

After seven years of marriage, I have a deeper appreciation and understanding for marriage than I ever did as a young starry-eyed newlywed. But that's the thing: there's so much about marriage -- about the long-term consequences of joining lives with a messy, frustrating human, about the reality of changing alongside a changing partner -- that's impossible to grasp without actually experiencing it.

At this point, I've lived through "worse" times, poorer times. My husband almost died in an extreme example of "in sickness."

Then we spend our engagements on our best behavior, in a static celebratory state of anticipation. We get married after a few shorts years together, imagining that if things have been good for two years -- even five or six years -- how could it be any different?

No no no, you need to see someone at their worst before you can agree to accept their worst. You have to see them pissed off, sick, wronged and vulnerable. You have to experience some seriously un-ideal situations.

I hereby propose the sh*tty engagement period to really test if your relationship is ready for marriage. Quit making dreamy Pinterest wedding boards and planning fancy dinners, and do some of these instead:

Does he step up to the plate? Run and hide? Act seriously annoyed and burdened by your illness? You need to know these things!

Guess what, folks? Life is going to go very wrong, and you'll have to navigate it together. Throw in the mother-in-law for added tension.

One day the gloves will come off and you'll see each other's ingrained fight tactics. Does he hit below the belt, saying mean insults meant to hurt you? Does he shut down and give the silent treatment? Does he get too aggressive?

Does he lose his damn mind? Do you? You need to see just how deep the crazy goes before saying you "I do."