"Can he hear my stomach growling?"
By Claire Hannum, SELF

When sex is good, it's great, but when it's not so good, it can be hard to even pay attention. You're supposed to be caught up in this epic, all-consuming moment, but instead you're trying to act enthusiastic and on the inside you're all like, "Are we done yet?"

Sometimes you even find your mind wandering to the most unsexy topics you can think of despite trying really freakin' hard to focus (what is this, 10th grade English class!?). If you've ever had one of these thoughts during a not-so-hot romp, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

1. "Did I remember to buy broth on the way home? If I didn't that whole recipe is gonna be ruined."

2. "Wow that TV sure is loud in the other room, I wonder what his roommate's watching. Oh, definitely Modern Family. I love this episode!"

3. "Wow, sex sound effects sure are funny when you think about it."

4. "My arm is kind of numb, should I move it or would that ruin the pose?"

5. "She's so cute. Next time we're hanging out I'm going to tell her how great she is...oh wait, technically we're hanging out right now...FOCUS!"

6. "Can he hear my stomach growling? Because I can definitely hear it."

7. "This better end well or I'll have sacrificed missing out on trivia night tonight for no reason."

8. "I hope she has a really nice espresso machine I can use when we're done..."

9. " Does anything rhyme with orange? Why have I never Googled that before? Definitely gonna look that up later."

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10. "Oh man, he's so into it, which means he probably thinks I'm so into him, how do I tell him we're probably not going on another date? Maybe he's not into it either and is just trying to spare my feelings...nah, that's wishful thinking."

11. "Um...do we say 'thank you' afterward? Does Emily Post have a rule for this?"

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