Why These 6 Real Brides Decided To Sign A Prenup

Why These 6 Real Brides Decided To Sign A Prenup

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For BRIDESDiscussing whether or not to sign a prenup - and the details therein - is perhaps the most difficult conversation an engaged couple will have. Below, six women share why they ultimately decided to sign on the dotted line. , by Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW.

"Initially I didn't want a prenup but my fiancé reminded me we weren't two clean slates. We'd each gone through tough divorces. Though I wanted to feel all roses and gooey going into this, when he put it that way I knew I had to be realistic. A prenup would protect each of us. Ten years later our marriage seems more secure than ever but I still think it was a good idea to make getting out if that's something we need to do easier and fair for both of us." -Shelly

"I was thrilled when he proposed, though in the back of my mind I knew I was steeling myself for 'the conversation' that would have to happen. I started my own business when I was 20, and seven years later, it's successful beyond what I would ever have dreamt. To be frank, I don't want to share all the profits. So two months after the engagement, wedding planning in full swing, I broached the prenup conversation and was so relieved when Jim said he'd just assumed we would sign one at some point. Whew!" -Tina

"We hope and pray the marriage will last forever, but since both my parents and Pete's parents divorced - my mother actually married and divorced a second time - it seemed to make sense to sign a prenup." -Jean

"A prenup was important to him, not to me. So we made a deal: I'd sign if he signed an agreement as well - to do weekly specific household chores I'd had to force him to do during the months we'd been living together. It seemed a fair compromise - both of us agreeing to do something we didn't really want to do. He's kept up his end in the three years since the marriage. I don't think we'll ever divorce but if we do I've come around to feeling glad that the assets I came in with before marrying are safeguarded, as are his." -Anne

Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW, is a New York City-based marriage therapist and author.

"I have a child from a previous marriage, so signing a prenup was nonnegotiable. I need to protect my daughter's interests above all. Dan understood my reasoning and agreed. For the record, he's an amazing stepdad." -Kimmy

"Mark had endured a messy divorce, so while I understood when he asked me to sign the prenup, I was also insulted. I told him I didn't want to pay for the sins of his ex. He understood but said that some scars remain. We actually went to couples therapy to hash it out and I came away realizing it wasn't personal. It wasn't about him not believing in me and the strength of our bond. It was just something he needed - like Linus's security blanket. So one night I signed and we celebrated with Champagne!" -Amy

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