Wedding - Stone Fox Bride

Stone Fox Bride

Is it possible that the problem is not the job or the city or the boyfriend? That it’s the unbearable discomfort of being present in your own life, in your own choices, even when you’re unsure of where they’re taking you? Is it possible that in waiting to feel legitimate you are actually missing out on the most legitimate part of this entire process, the fact that you’re searching and seeking and sorting out who you are and what you want? The unknown with all its dark and dirty and dazzling gifts is like a glittery psychic petri dish of crystals and gems where creativity thrives. Los Angeles is never the answer, although I fully understand the appeal. What New Yorker hasn’t stared at that vintage pic of Joan Didion leaning against her Corvette Stingray in front of her Hollywood home—all middle part and messy hair and sandals and sack dress, slick with ennui—and thought that everything would be better on the Best Coast? There’s a bumper sticker that says, No Matter Where You Go, There You Are. I try to remember this myself, late at night when I’m panicked about the state of my fate. New York, New Mexico, California, Kansas City, Sri Lanka . . . regardless of how deep into the woods we wander, everyone still sleeps and wakes beneath the same sun and moon. Here’s another bumper sticker-ism for you. The only way out is through. My father, stricken with blood cancer and feeble from chemo, uttered those words in the ICU a few days before he died. We all end up there one day, too—sitting in a small, quiet room alone with our head and our heart and our hands and our soul, facing the stars and the dark. Don’t miss out on your life because you’re walking around the world wondering if you’re doing it right. The fact that you’re doing it at all is a miracle. You’re legitimate because you are. That is the end of the sentence.... “I Moved to L.A. and Hate It—Am I a Quitter If I Move Back?” My latest Dear Molly column on Vogue.com. Check out the full response, link in profile!

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