Kat Williams

I have had the most amazing week. For the first time in my life I logged out of Instagram, closed down Twitter and only used Facebook messenger to chat to a few close friends. Over the last few weeks I’ve been feeling burnt out, depressed and I’ve been crying about everything. Then I’d feel incredibly guilty because, fuck, I’m supposed to be proud of what I’ve achieved and I am, don’t get me wrong, I AM SO PROUD AND EXCITED about the book and some other projects I have coming out soon but at the same time I had an overwhelming feeling of sadness hanging over my head. I needed a bit of time to rediscover my own personal feelings of joy without the compulsion to share it on Instagram afterwards with a cute photo and peppy caption. I was getting to the point where everything and everyone online was annoying me – I just wanted to be left alone! At times Instagram feels like a relentless and ever-revolving hamster wheel, speeding up day after day, and if you don’t keep up you’ll trip and fall off, only for the algorithm to penalise you and all your followers to lose interest. WELL FUCK THAT. We are human beings. We don’t have to be plugged into our devices 24/7. We don’t have to share every minute of our lives on social media. After a glorious three-day hiatus, I’m starting to feel like myself again. Don't get me wrong, it has been difficult. I am fully addicted to mindlessly scrolling through instagram. But without it I’ve actually spent time chatting to my husband without our phones in our hands. We watched movies without me picking up my phone everytime there was a slow bit. I left my phone upstairs while we ate dinner. I didn’t feel the need to record an Instagram Story of every insignificant little thing that happened. As someone with a history of depression, last week I was really starting to worry that I was falling back into that black hole again. I now realise that all I needed to do was to force myself to take a fucking break. I’m making some changes and working towards making myself happier again. Thank you for all your kind words and messages. It really means a lot.