Kat Williams

I’ve been trying to write a caption for hours to express how I’m feeling right now but the truth of the matter is I don’t really know. Some days I’m sad and teary, others I’m quietly emotional. Sometimes I feel numb, other days I feel helpless, worried, impatient, desperate for a distraction (hello painting the living room pink on a whim!) and then… just kinda fine. I’ve always been of the ‘Make it look good on the internet’ school of thought. Put out what you want to get more of… Be POSITIVE… Look for the good and the lesson in every situation… Ask the Universe for what you want more of… And I do still believe that and I want to feel that way in my heart again, desperately, but it’s harddddddd. It’s really fucking hard. I’m annoyed at myself at times for not being ‘over it’, for not having a “OK we can fucking beat this!” positive attitude all the time, of not being able to focus on stuff (Ugh I feel SO GUILTY for not working on The Confidence Club, I was so psyched about it - I still am... but… I just… can’t) and then I feel guilty for trying to push my real feelings away, of trying to rush through the pain and be ‘back to normal’ again. And I’m worried, so fucking worried about how everyone else in my family is really doing. I’m looking for that light at the end of the tunnel, its just gonna take a bit of time… Basically my mental health is taking a KICKING right now. It gets easier, right? Photo by @devlinphotos