Budget. It's a dirty word, but somebody's GOT to talk about it. Here's the thing, bridey, when your guest list grows, then your budget needs to grow with it. PERIOD. THE END. Really, it's as simple as that. Because it's not fair for you to expect your vendors to adhere to your much smaller budget simply because you want to invite more people, and now you can't afford the previously agreed upon menu/concept/bouquet/etc. In fact, you should be calling your vendors telling them that they have to provide MORE of whatever it is they are providing, not LESS, because your numbers have increased.

I'm currently working with a bride who has about zero control over her guest list. And frankly, it's starting to really piss me off. We've gone round and round and round regarding her fucking guest list, and I have had it. Bridey, if you can't afford to invite the fucking free world, then don't. I know what etiquette says about whom you should invite, and who you shouldn't feel obligated to invite to your wedding, but you know what etiquette doesn't tell you, bridey? That your budget has to take precedence over stupid etiquette. I mean sure, invite everybody you know, but I hope they like the cash bar, one passed hors d'oeuvre and vegetarian meal. Because that's what they are going to "enjoy" that evening. Not to mention that their table will stripped of anything resembling a centerpiece and the MUZAK will be the entertainment because the DJ wouldn't drop his prices.

Okay, perhaps I am being a bit melodramatic, but you get what I am saying, right? It's called cause and effect. If your guest list grows, then more people are going to need to eat, sit, and be entertained. So clearly, more money will need to be spent. Right? I mean am I the only one that understands this concept? Because if I am, then I quit! Seriously. Who's hiring? Because at this rate, I am going to be actively looking for a new job... and soon.

Bridey, let me ask you a question. You're probably on some sort of diet so that you can slim down before the wedding, right? So, my guess is that you are probably cutting calories and hitting the gym more frequently. Good for you. Now, what would happen if you went off of your diet and exercise plan ( plan being the key word), and started eating fast food and milkshakes every day? You'd get fat, right? And then your wedding dress wouldn't fit, and you'd most likely have to pay to have the seamstress let out your dress to accommodate your more voluptuous figure, right? Now, is it HER fault that you went off your plan and got fat thus requiring wedding dress adjustments? No. It's yours. See what I am getting at? CAUSE AND FUCKING EFFECT! Bottom line? If your guest list grows, then your budget must grow too!

Got it? Good! Then stay Bitchless (for the love of God!)!!!

Image via Huff Post Weddings