Jan 24, 2013 | Posted by: abi s

While using the apps for iPhone and iPad to plan your wedding, the topic of changing a last name may come up. To keep or change ones last name is a purely personal choice but it is something that should be discussed with the groom before the wedding. No wedding app can help with this decision. While you are searching for bridal dresses and the wedding tuxedo , bring up the discussion casually and feel the other party out about this subject.

Understanding the history behind the name change and some of the reasons the modern woman rejects the idea is imperative for the groom. Customs are habits; traditions are used to bestow significance and are performed for a reason. In fact the tradition of a woman assuming the last name of her husband is only about 1000 years old. The key reasons for this was founded in very simple cultural facts.

1. To protect family and wealth

2. To designate a new direction in her life

3. To acknowledge the endorsement of God in the marriage

Women were not allowed to own property and in most patriarchal societies the lineage and succession was passed down based on paternity. The only exception to this was in the titled families. Although we have become much more enlightened, some cultures still consider a wife as the property of the husband. The advent of the legal profession and wills and so forth as made this reason a moot point. Marriage is no longer a means of survival for women but a matter of the heart.

When survival depended on brawn, women needed the man to provide food, clothing and shelter. Women had few choices in the olden days. They either remained with their parents or took jobs as servants, school teachers, and governesses or for those who could not find such estimable posts, whores. Women who weren't considered beautiful had it harder still and if a women were unfortunate enough to have a child out of wedlock her options dwindle to almost nothing. With social programs that help women with children and education women today do not need the protection of a man for survival.

Today the decision to take the husbands name is made all the more agonizing by a woman's peers. The wedding grooms go with something like, "So you chose to hyphenate? Are you that insecure, having to assert your independence with every stroke of the pen when you sign your name?" The wedding brides friends can be even worse with snide remarks aimed at undermining your strength and sense of self.

We may not have given you the answer to your dilemma, that was not our mission, helping you to understand why it is an issue and where it started was. Now that you are armed with this information you can make a more informed decision. For more on this topic you can visit www.iwedplanner.com and while you are there download the free wedding planner apps for iPad and iPhone .