I'm thinking I should have gone to law school. No really, I should have. I come from a family of attorneys and judges, and going to school for food science and pastry was probably not what my folks had in mind for me. Although, they always supported my originality (particularly around food... I used to dye my hair with fucking Kool-Aid! Oh, and it worked!), I would be making piles and piles more dough, and then I would feel more comfortable charging by the hour.

Some event planners DO charge by the hour, and I am strongly considering changing the way I structure my business and getting on board with the whole charging by the hour thing. Because some of you brideys really take advantage when it comes to air time. If I divided what your wedding is worth to me from a dollars and cents standpoint, by the number of hours spent with you, on your behalf or on the phone with you, I would DEFINITELY be making more money if the clock started running the moment I said, "Hello." Harsh, but true. Would you feel as comfortable pouring your heart and soul out to me or dwelling on some very small stupid detail if you know that each minute was going to cost you $5? I don't think so. I think you would most likely curb the bullshit, get to the point, and move on. Right?

Yes, I love what I do. Yes, I care about what you think. And, yes, I do like you, bridey. But, sometimes I feel like you need to consider that time is money, and that I am a business; no matter how small or how personalized, I do what I do to make money. Don't you? So, when you keep me on the phone stuck on something that we have discussed over and over again that won't make a fucking difference in the overall scheme of your wedding day, it's all I can do not to reach over and grab the egg timer. I mean it... Go talk it through with your fiance or best friend, because at least they can drink when they are with you, and politely (or maybe not so politely) tell you to stop obsessing over the small shit, and focus on the enormity of what a wedding means.

Bridey, all I am saying is to please be mindful of your wedding vendors. We are too polite to tell you to shut your mouth, but our time is just as valuable as yours. So, put a sock in it, or I'm gonna break out that egg timer.