This last post makes me sad! Even though its been 12 months of sharing, there is still SO much to share; DIY, starting off the garter debate (you know me with fleshing out the real meanings behind these traditions http://www.rockmywedding.co.uk/what-sarah-did-speculated-to-cake-or-not-to-cake, hen do's, the first dance... but there isn't enough time or length in your scroll bar, so I had to make a decision. While reflecting on what I have learnt while planning our wedding, the thing I am most thankful for is 'THE ADVICE!' So I thought today I would share what I've learnt, some things might even make you go "yes! Me too". I found the helpful hints from friends and relatives so useful, so hopefully some of you will find this useful too ☺. First up, you will receive advice on every single aspect of your wedding, whether you've asked for it or not. Literally, EVERYONE will put their two cents in; married people, divorced people, single people and people whom never wish to be married. Its what you do with the advice that matters, good or bad.

Join A Wedding Community

I've been super lucky to share my wedding musings http://www.rockmywedding.co.uk/category/sarah-and-callum/ through RMW (thanks heaps team!) and you can do this too! Subscribe to the blog posts; follow on instagram/pinterest/twitter and become part of the Facebook group. Post a comment on the blog (or other SM space) and one of the team or the other brides will answer or share their thoughts. Being part of a wedding community means you can ask your questions, share your views and get some real advice to your quandaries by people going through the same process. You will be supported and be able to chitchat-paddy-whack about anything and (hopefully) not be judged! It will also help the people around you too, you'll look like the perfect bride not jib-jabbering about your wedding plans 24/7 for 12 months to people who probably don't care, but secretly you're really offloading with a great bunch of people in your own little wedding world.

Destination Unknown

Just because you're an international/destination bride does not mean you have to cut back. I initially thought I wouldn't be able to do much crafting, but that's a myth! I have literally made everything for our wedding. Not entirely sure how all this is going to get on the plane, but that's by the by, but it has all been worth it. It's all about being realistic; can it be posted, shipped or flown?! I have found vendors and shopping for goods pretty easier via Skype, email and of course Etsy. So many brides are doing this these days that vendors are prepared to be flexible. Don't fret about hair, make-up or nails either, practice with your normal stylists and send pictures to those prepping you for your big day. The only downside I have found is the 13hour time difference making phone calls difficult! Luckily I have had awesome parents at home to help out with this. My top tips for a destination wedding is start the planning early and remember your skin hydration for plane journeys. No one needs dull skin on there wedding day! Here is a tip from RMW Real Bride Sophie though, "If you are getting married in a non-English speaking country, hire a bilingual wedding planner!

Be Bold. Be Brave. Don't be Afraid to be Different
Don't be afraid to be different. You may have seen from a number of my posts that I like to challenge the traditions http://www.rockmywedding.co.uk/what-sarah-did-debated-the-name-change. More and more brides are doing that these days and that's what excites me most when I receive the wee RMW 'new post' email. There will be plenty of people that tell you 'oh that's not right for a wedding', but who said? Do it! If I want to wear black nail varnish on my wedding nail with gold sparkles, I ruddy will! It's your day, your way. You'll see plenty of non-norms from my big day!

Be Our Guest

You will have heard this time and time again but when choosing your guests, be true to yourself. Don't compromise your decisions for others. The best advice I received was to pick those people you want or see in your lives going forward. Don't focus on the past and feel you 'have' to invite someone. Be strong. You may upset someone but in the long run you will have made the best decision for you and your partner. Talk openly together about what you want from your wedding and make 'rules' so to speak. We had a guest limit of 80 and when we first sat down our list of invitees was 130, so one of our rules was 'no partners who we have never met'. Having someone we knew and loved present was more important than someone we didn't know. Some people wont like your decisions but you know what - there's that saying again "its your day, your way". We were honest and open in our decisions so we were quite lucky, we didn't have much push back!

Don't Forget Your Partner

You will likely have a partner that is 100% involved in the planning (where your bridey friends look at you with awe and envy), or one that will do anything you please but needs to be asked (this one's a good one), or one that will just want to turn up on the day to marry you (mmm, my least fav option). Embrace whichever 'partner card' you're dealt, consider their trait and make it work for you both, otherwise there will be zilch enjoyment from the planning process! Now, my Callum, well, he fell into category number two, (ridonkulously laid back; awesome for everyday life, not so good with planning!) Callum was fully engaged with the big decisions but concentration slowly wained when the 'non exciting' stuff needed attention. I realised to get buy in as the big day approached, I would have to be tactical. He is great at getting stuff done, but it has to be in his own time. Not wanting to drive either of us insane with 'have you done this? Have you remembered to do that? Can you do this?" I made a '4 month to-do chart' and stuck it to the kitchen wall, Callum would walk past it everyday and see what was left to do and pick a task. It took a good month to get in the groove, but you know what? It ruddy worked! Although to this day I have no idea how one boy can spend so much time looking at socks for groomsmen, especially when they are only wearing black. Don't be one of those brides that doesn't involve her partner and makes it all about what she wants. Neither of you will enjoy that! Try and work a way around it so you can both be involved.

Don't Over Do It

I have maked baked and shaped, well, almost everything for this wedding, check out the wee collage of my wed-craft below, yes, that really is me wearing a dust mask while making the favors; don't ask! You can see all the wee treats up close and personal post June 28th! Was all of it necessary? Probably not. Over the last 4 months I have started to ask myself the following questions before hitting send on ETSY a) what is this really for (i.e. not just because its gold and sparkly)? b) Will it get used again? and c) do we reallllllly need it? If the answers no, I've been restrained in not purchasing - especially when faced with the question 'bunting' or a 'margarita on the beach', ill take the margarita please! If you can't be restrained, make a deal with your partner, any purchases, have to be vetted together. This little scheme has saved me a few bob or two on buying yet another pack of drink stirrers 'just in case'. Those little pennies all add up after all. If you aren't at the month count down mark yet, take it from me, it is actually very refreshing to sit back and say 'no' to the little things. You have probably done enough!

Expect The Unexpected

My dad keeps saying to me, "Sarah, be prepared for things to go wrong, there are so many elements involved something has to go wrong". Good ol' 'realist' huh. My response has always been "you know what, if something goes wrong I can except that because I have done everything I can to make it special. I would however care if I had not tried and things went wrong, then id hate myself!" Therefore have a mantra. That was ours. Do the most you can to make it special, that's all you can do!

Ask For Help

ALWAYS ask for help. I am a self confessed organiser and control freak, having a list of a list is my idea of heaven (note to self 'must get out more'). But you can't do everything. Don't feel guilty if you need to ask for help, people want to help. Infact people feel honoured, as they want to do something to contribute to your big day. People love weddings and it makes them feel valued to help out. I didn't have any need to ask for help till last month, I was in Perth for work with little time or capability to research when we had some issues with our linen provider. Time to call in the troops. One swift email to the bridesmaids, parents and even the bridesmaid's mums and the problem was fixed. New linen within 5 hours! So despite feeling awful needing to ask for help, no one cared and the problem got solved. I wish I had asked for help sooner! Which brings me too...

...Surround Yourself with Good Friends and Share the Experiences.
Having people you can rely on isn't just helpful, it is also special, it compounds those friendships further and makes you truly cherish those in your life. Our MC Mike has gone beyond the call of duty for us, always willing and able to help out with every single bit of our wedding. Our friends and families excitement has made the engagement period, well, AWESOME! I was hit with a bout of shingles two weeks before my hen do. I was so upset! But I should never of worried, my excellent friends pulled together, to keep the 1920's theme alive, even if I did need to leave early. Embrace everyone in your life who wants to share the ride with you. After all you only to do it once and the prep is part of the fun!

Put Yourself First for a Change
I was pretty bad at doing this and it's probably why I ended up with shingles! But you really have to take the time for yourself before your wedding. Whether it's eating clean, working out or having regular facials. Just explain to people who ask 'why are you being boring and just working out all the time?!'; and they will understand. If they don't, screw um!

Enjoy It and Don't be Scared To 'Wed-Melt'

If you get to a point in the planning where it isn't fun anymore, take a break. A good friend told me "if it stops being fun its not working - have a rest" and its bloody good advice. I hit a wall after my 50th favour (not least because I was conked out by resin fumes) and really could not be bothered anymore. I stopped for 3 weeks and coming back to it was fun again. Now, that aforementioned 'Wed-Melt' aka, full on, body convulsing, Niagara-falls-crying meltdown. IT IS OK. You are not alone. Me and the other girls seemed to be pretty lucky and not experience this till a couple of weeks pre wedding and whilst you feel like a nutbar, it's perfectly ok. Don't beat yourself up for making your fiancé look at you and question 'erm... are you alright?! Like in the head", just because you've cried at the wrong napkins arriving. Having a cry is normal! You know what they say; marriage, moving house and starting a new job are three of the most stressful things in life! For all the highs, lows, tears and laughs remember it is all part of the ride. Enjoy the lows, as much as you can, they are all part of the tapestry that you will reflect on and tell your children and grandchildren about.

Always Give Thanks

This is a given right?! No need for me to tell anyone this! Thank-you to Carly, Jackie, Nicola, Sophie and Stef. They have been amazing friends the past 12 months and I am so glad RMW allowed me to meet such fantastic women. I have 5 new 'pen-pals' (can we call them that in our 30's?!) who I have shared more about this wedding of ours with (basically 5 complete strangers) than I have with friends, family or even the bridal party.

A Mahoossive thank you goes to my favourite kiwi chick Barnesyrubble (aka Mrs Hannah Shaw). This girl has been a solid voice of reason and support with all things wedding, she is a fabulous friend to me and has been chief proof reader over all my posts, even when she was a week off popping out her wee sprog Jimmy (he is now 4 weeks old) ☺ She was diligent to a T with facts and figures too. Even when I wrote cellulitis not cellulite in my work-out post... they are actually different don't you know! Love you girl!

Last but not least, my egg. This guy literally has patience that would make a saint blush. My proof reader number two has endured lots in the planning of this wedding (as you may remember the glitter in his eye and resin up his nostrils) and I cannot wait to marry him in 34 days. Finding someone to share your days with that makes a non-perfect world perfect is something to be cherished and never taken for granted. Finding someone that gets you for your quirks and your indiscretions and laughs with you everyday is something to be treasured. Finding someone who makes everything in life content so that you have confidence in everything you do apart and together is someone to be loved. Each day I am thankful for finding 'my someone' and for him always making me realise everything is perfect just the way it is

Over And Out... Well till For A Bit...

Keep on rocking it Adam, Charlotte, Fern, Lolly and Co. Thanks for the fun guys and gals, it's been a blast! See you on the flip side with a ring of 'eternal bliss' on my pinky, a man on my arm and Wang on my butt.

Big Love, Sarah xx