Well Happy New Year to you all and hello to those new Brides and Grooms-to-be who got engaged over the festive period, welcome to Wedding Life. For those of you who are new to all things RMW, we're here to (hopefully) help with those moments where you just don't know where to start, or when you're stuck. Certainly the other RMW Real Brides and myself as the solo Groom have a message stream going, usually starting with a 'how did you do this/what do I do about that?' question.

If nothing else, talk to others in the same position. Hear different ways of approaching a problem and try, where possible, to make something work for you as a couple, not your parents or cousins or uncle who you think may raise an eyebrow at a decision you've made as a team. If you're going to do it, do it your way, and have a bloody good time whilst you're planning!

I would like to apologise in advance if this part of the post sounds a bit Radio 4 'Thought for the day'. It's not my intention but just bear with me. The topics for todays' post are traditions and flowers. It will be a bit of a tag team effort as I, being the stereotypical bloke, don't really do flowers. Debs only really receives them on her birthday and if she needs cheering up so she doesn't know an awful lot about them either.

We spent Christmas down in Devon with my side of the family this year, in the wonderfully picturesque village of Harberton. We stayed at the B+B, it's so peaceful there and one of the few places that we truly relax. Actually, if anyone is looking for a few days away, it's well worth looking at and Sue will look after you so well you'll not want to leave! Anyhow, whilst stuck in traffic on the M5 Debs and I got talking about traditions, as she had never experienced a full Mahon Christmas before.

The Mahon Christmas usually involves carols outside the pub at 6pm Christmas Eve followed by a fondue feast. On Christmas day we pack a picnic and mulled wine, put on our walking boots and head out for a long walks in a random place; Dartmoor this year, although the edges of MoD firing ranges and near nuclear power stations aren't out of the question. We swap gifts later in the afternoon, eat around 7pm and play a few board games in the evening.

In comparison, the Ferns family have a Christmas Eve gathering with one side of the family and it's also Deb's mum's birthday so there's a double celebration. This is followed by drinks in the Pen-y-Bryn pub (which is lovely if you're ever in Colwyn Bay) with school friends and their parents from primary and high school of days past. For Debs, Christmas day used to start by nursing a hangover, peeling veg and setting the table for lunch, popping back to The Pen for midday drinks with Grandpops and brother Kris, then back for a few pressies, three course lunch before falling asleep on the sofa in front of a film.

What has this got to do with weddings I hear you cry? Well, it occurred to us that there isn't such a thing as a traditional wedding anymore. Or we'd argue that there isn't. Granted there are traditional elements that everybody does, but in this day and age of choice it is possible to have the wedding that the bride and groom want rather than what is prescribed. Hopefully you only get married once so do it in a way that you'll have no regrets.

Don't get me wrong, at our wedding there will be speeches, food, drink and dancing. However we're not getting married in a church or registry office. We're not having a 'second wave', we may not even have a seating plan (still up for debate). Everyone has a different idea of traditional, as our Christmas experience showed; we still celebrated the day, we ate, were with family and exchanged gifts, but the days themselves were as different as they are the same, but some seem to be insecure about stepping too far away from what is 'normal' or 'expected'. We're finding more and more that there still seems to be quite a stigma about 'traditional' wedding materials, etiquette, expectations and we're not really sure whether this is just because we live in rural north Wales where, arguably, things aren't as cosmopolitan as in the cities. Perhaps it's just because this is always the way things have been done? Again, why?

This brings me onto our post about flowers. Debs isn't really a flowery type of girl (Debs' edit: I do appreciate them every now and again though!) and doesn't really know her Hydrangea from her Chrysanthemum. She knows that she likes Roses and Gerberas and Ranunculus but hasn't a clue when they're in season or where they come from. She's also had hayfeaver over the last couple of years so knows that some (not sure which) make her sneeze. In honesty, when talking about flowers the first thought we had was, why? Why do the bridesmaids and brides carry flowers? We have no idea. To keep the hands so they're not flopping around when walking down the aisle, perhaps. Anyhow, with Debs' fear of sneezing on entry, we considered another option and got in touch with Carmel who makes awesome origami flower bouquets. They won't make you sneeze, and they can keep and can work alongside other flowers outside of the ceremony room really well.

Carmel is based in north Wales, and in keeping with us trying where possible to source local suppliers, we were delighted to find her blog so we dropped her a line, Debs met for coffee and had a chat about options. With the flowers being made of paper we can choose the colour, whether they will be shiny, matt, sparkly or be made of a favourite book, poem or photos. We liked that idea. We also liked how creative Carmel is, bringing splashes of colour to twinkly lights and favours which will sit beautifully at Hafod Farm (read more about our venue here), adding something a little different to the venue that is still so new in north Wales that it's not even finished yet.

We still love the idea of the flowers, but we love being able to walk around without an itchy nose, sneezing even more. The last thing that we want to do is give Claire Penn, our photographer, a red nosed, streamy eyed, sneeze-fest to shoot. We'll probably not overdo it with fresh stems and those we do use we hope to have grown locally. We met with Dawn from the Very Nice Flower Company who is based a couple of miles up the road from Hafod Farm and grows her own flowers in her back yard - her lavender confetti is beautiful, smells divine and she sells it by the pint glass. Flowers which are simple, bright but not too 'in your face' is perfect for us, accompanied by something a little different for the bridal party and we're all set.

When all is said and done, surely the most important thing is what makes the bride and groom happy. After all is it not their day? If the bride wants to dress as a tiger, or have a green dress, walk down the aisle, not be 'given away', have the ring delivered by owl or racing pigeon, or not wear a ring at all, then surely (whilst that may not be everyone's choice) there is nothing wrong with it? If the groom would like to arrive in full armour on a white stallion or dressed as Spiderman and swing in through an open window, it's all good so long as both of them are happy.

If the first dance is a well-choreographed dance routine or flash mob or, in our case, a painful shuffle round and round in a circle, trying not to be embarrassed as I step on Debs' toes, then so be it. After all, variety is the spice of life, right?

I guess what I'm trying to say, in a roundabout way, is - do what makes you happy. You'll hear this a million times and more during your conversations with friends and family. To those of you new to wedding planning you'll probably hear 'do what makes you happy' through gritted teeth, a raised eyebrow and possibly a disappointed nod but it is impossible to please everyone, and speaking frankly, nor should you have to try. It's your day and one that should be filled with joy, laughter and memories. It's easier to say than to do, I completely appreciate that, but don't beat yourself up about having an honest conversation with someone about what you want. If you don't want to divulge any of the details for fear of a disapproving stare try 'keeping everything a secret' so nobody can pass judgement or make you doubt your gut feeling. We think that if they don't like a decision that we've made together then that's ok; it's not your day, it's ours and we're super happy.

It's all coming together, finally. 2015 is going to be a great year!

Much love,

Paddy (and Debs)